BE CAREFUL...THEMS FIGHTIN' WORDS

Are you nervous?

It’s only natural.

The “most wonderful time of the year” is here again, and you know - you're going to have to see them again…family. Not just the family you love, but, in many cases, the family you have been actively avoiding since the last holiday season. The family that pushes your buttons, shreds your self-control, makes you feel like an emotional thirteen-year-old, and raises your voice to dog frequencies. The family members who toss out trigger words like fish lures until you're hooked into a conversation you can’t believe you are having.

Those “conversations” are likely to include many pop culture and political buzzwords you’re not quite ready to use. Words like Rizz, Bussin, or even Future Proofing, and Hawk. Misuse these at the dinner table and you might be Cooked. (As my daughter likes to say, “Don’t throw it up if you don’t know what it means.”). Before you offend all the generations at your Thanksgiving table, maybe I can help with some real definitions and tips on when to avoid these words entirely.

Let’s start with the big ones.

FASCISM In the realm of political discourse, this is one of them “fightin’ words,” but what is it exactly? Well, by definition, it is a government system led by a dictator with complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, controlling all industry, commerce, and more, while emphasizing aggressive nationalism. Fascism has no tolerance for other points of view or any response but loyalty (think - Hitler or that one coach in middle school who kept yelling, This is not a democracy. It’s my way or the highway…).

The word is, of course, volatile because one person's Fascist is another person’s hero. Also, fascism gets thrown around a lot, so you may want to limit yourself on how often you use it. I’m only allowing myself to say fascist three times today. Of course, if the conversation at your table gets awkwardly quiet, you can always play “Fascist or Not,” where people toss out names and you yell “Fascist!” or “Not,” keeping count until someone flips the table like it’s the end of a Monopoly game.

Next.

ANTIFA. Oooh, did you get goosebumps just reading the word? Literally translated, it means anti-fascist (as in opposing everything in the paragraphs above). So, it’s not a stretch to say Americans have a long history of being Antifa… most notably during the World Wars, when we fought for freedom against the poster children of fascism - Hitler and Mussolini. There’s also our ongoing fight against communism (China), which many consider at best fascist-adjacent. And you could argue (as many have) that our efforts to supply weapons and diplomatic support for Ukraine against Putin are standing up to modern fascism. How trendy. So, if you support any of these fights for freedom against fascism, you may be Antifa. I won’t tell anyone.

But before you launch that verbal grenade over the green bean casserole this Thanksgiving, it's important to understand that this is a complex movement in America because Antifa, by nature, is often a decentralized, grassroots effort. This means there is no headquarters, no national leadership, no unified mission statement or agenda, and no pancake breakfast fundraisers or quarterly meetings. Book clubs have more organization. That’s important because even though the movement is decentralized, transgressions by one group or protest reflect on all of them. In other words, if you have one hundred protests and one turns violent, they are all assumed to be violent. A similar thing happened to police officers in America a few years ago, when many unfairly painted all of them with the same broad brush, as some showed violent, racist tendencies or poor training. That’s our tendency—grouping people together by the loudest (often most outrageous) voice and then applying that label to everyone. It’s simply easier that way, even if it harms many people and distorts facts in the process.

Let’s see…what other words do we have? Oh, this is a hot one -

NATIONALISM Some people view nationalism as just patriotism trying harder, but in truth, the two couldn’t be more different. Nationalism claims that one nation or ethnicity is superior to all others. Its main belief is that government exists primarily to protect the culture and interests of its own group or dominant community. Basically, its motto is us above the rest, actually, us at the expense of the rest. By definition, nationalism is exclusionary. Patriotism, however, celebrates all citizens: freedom and justice for all. That all are created equal. While nationalism tears others down to lift itself up, patriotism encourages us to work together to make this country great. Looking at our history shows how many diverse hands have helped build, protect, and make this nation the envy of the world. Nationalism takes credit for your work, rewrites history, and then shows you to the door.

While we are here, let’s hit this one:

CHRISTIAN NATIONALISM If nationalism and patriotism don’t belong in the same sentence, then nationalism and Christianity shouldn’t even be in the same room, let alone goose-stepping down the street arm in arm. Where nationalism demands a culture of Us versus Them, Christianity challenges us to answer the question, “Who is my Neighbor?” (Answer: the outsider, the lowly, and the culturally despised.) Where nationalism promotes isolationism, Christianity calls us to go out and seek what is lost. Where nationalism relies on force and intimidation, Christianity is about restoration and transcending earthly kingdoms. Where nationalism seeks to extinguish individualism, Christianity lifts up all, from the “least to the greatest.” Christianity declares the world is the Lord’s and everything (and everyone in it). The idea of militarizing faith—whether in words, political policies, or doctrine—is antithetical to all the teachings of Jesus. BUT maybe don’t launch into this one until after the pumpkin pie is served; there’s no reason to waste good dessert on a bad conversation.

OK, let’s move to the lightning round.

Six Seven, LowKey, Same, For Real, Demure, Rizz, Cap (or no Cap) Slay, and Dude… These words aren’t politically charged; you’re just too old to say them. Besides, to use them properly, you have to use them as often as breathing (No Cap). And because these words represent complete thoughts on their own, they are used independently. There’s no context to clarify what is being said. (Real). Just know if you ask a teen how the food was and they reply “Gas.”… well, they enjoyed it more than words can say.

Words or phrases like Brain-Rot, Era, Delulu, Fein... these are the verbal equivalents of emojis. They are small images that convey a larger sentiment. On the bright side, if War and Peace were written today, it could be printed in just ten pages—assuming the author didn’t think the story was Cringe.

But then, that might just be your avoidance tactic this year. When someone asks, 'What do you think about that Fascist…' you can just reply 'Delulu' and then shake your head while giving a Cringe. No Cap, it’ll save you some Brain Rot.

OK, friends… this is as far as I can take you. You have to face your family (and that person you don’t recognize who is apparently auditioning to join your family - God help them) alone. But I know you can do it. Let me leave you with one more thought: In all my Thanksgivings, I have never seen a conversation explode that ended with someone saying, “You know, I think you’re right. I can see it now. I bow to your superior intellect and change my allegiance.” So, maybe save yourself the indigestion and stick to easy questions like, “What do you think happens when we die?”.

Cheers, my friends. Go do the good you can do.